Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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