dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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