is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
