he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
