i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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