I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Operation Purity has been aborted
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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