There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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