Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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