dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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