Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
