So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
