she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
