too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
