so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
