Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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