I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
