Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
