i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
