After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
