Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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