you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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