Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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