Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
