Cold hands, warm shart.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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