I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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