please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
