His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My ass is underappreciated
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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