The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is the high leading the old right now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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