Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
