Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
