youre lurking in front of me
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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