Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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