You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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