im about as happy as oj after his trial
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
