Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
found the other keg... it's in the tree
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
