please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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