I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
