What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
