i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
