Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
