An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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