Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
