these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
