Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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