does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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