He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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