Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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