no you cant smoke seaweed
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
