I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
