I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My feet surprised me
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