i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
